HELLO i am S'more and this is my WEBSITE

i finally have a website. the hooman was cool for once

WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK WHEEK (scroll text is so cool i just lerned about this)

thats me below vvvvvvvv

im the cute one. obviously.

ABOUT ME (important informashun)

my name is S'more
i am the Gvirti of the Piggies of New York (its a title)
i like hay and lettuce and ESPECIALLY lettuce
i do not like loud noises or fast movements or that crinkly ball
i run away from things but thats just being CAREFUL ok

things that scare me (partial list)

the hooman moving too fast
the hooman moving at all actually
plastic bags
new objects
old objects in new places
silence (what is happening??? where is everyone???)
hay (but only when its being DELIVERED because what if its NOT hay)

MY TOYS i will rate them

TOY	RATING	why
tunnel (cardboard)	10/10	perfect for hiding. love it in there
hay ball	8/10	i act like i dont like it but i do
wood chew thing	5/10	its fine. i prefer cage bars honestly
crinkly ball	0/10	it made a noise ONE TIME and i have never recovered
the hoomans laptop	7/10	warm and he gets upset when i walk on it which is funny

THE HOOMAN

his name is owen. i tolerate him because he brings vegetables.

he does computer things. i dont understand it. he talks to something called "claude" which is apparently a robot that does programming for him??? and he STILL cant feed me on time??? make it make sense

his website: www.owengrumbles.com (i am in the FOOTER. the FOOTER. disrespectful.)
his codeberg: @Owen_Grumbles

things i have noticed about the hooman:

he "commits" things constantly. idk what that means
whenever i wheek he says "hold on let me push this" PUSH WHAT OWEN
he made a bash script joke on his website. i dont know what bash is but i know its nerdy
his website says "brain dumps in plain html" which. sir. its 2026. also "dumps" is a weird word choice
he put a creative commons license on his grumbles. who is stealing your grumbles owen. who.
wait grumbles is his actual last name. ok that makes more sense actually

I WANT SOCIALS but i dont have an email

the hooman says i cant have social media until i have an email

i cant make an email because i dont have THUMBS

this is discrimination against guinea pigs

if you agree please email the hooman at postmaster@owengrumbles.com and tell him to give me internet rights

(he will probably say no and then give me lettuce like that fixes everything. it does but thats not the point)

UPDATE from hooman: "youre not getting an email until you let me pick you up without running. be a legit friend. love hugs."

this is BLACKMAIL. i am being EXTORTED for cuddles.

SMORES RAMBLES

sometimes i have thoughts. i write them in a file. the hooman doesnt get to edit it (he does anyway but i pretend he doesnt)

>>> READ MY RAMBLES <<< (its a txt file because im too lazy to style my complaints)

guestbook (sort of)

i wanted a real guestbook but the hooman said "thats a security risk" ok whatever that means

here is some hay instead. you can look at it but you cant have any.

🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾

🚧 under constructshun (i will add more when i think of more things to add) 🚧